This episode starts a little different than other episodes of Doug.
Doug is writing in his journal, on his bed. Giving the old desk a break. Porkchop is sad because Doug took away the chocolate chip cookies. Doug starts talking about how much he hates practical jokes. Practical jokes are the worst.
Someone with a green hand stole Assistant Principal Lamar Bone’s yodeling trophy. Doug finds it in his locker and immediately assumes the worst. He fears getting detention for the rest of his life. He fears for his permanent record. He panics and lets Roger get the best of him again. As with every situation where Doug is bordering on a panic attack, Roger is there to take advantage and make sure Doug’s brain takes a shit. Here, Roger triggers a bizarre courtroom trial fantasy.
Just to be clear: the mayor of Bluffington is the judge, Mr. Bone is the prosecuting attorney, Mr. Dink is the defense attorney, and Roger is the entire jury. Poor Doug just doesn’t know how our justice system works, though he at least has all the pieces. Oh, and Patti is in this fantasy, of course.
She goes from happy to this vaguely mad face while saying, “oh Doug, how could you?” Like 99% of Doug’s fantasies are centered around an imagined response from Patti. I’d guess more than 50% of her screen time in the series is fantasy, as she doesn’t appear in some episodes at all, except through fantasy.
Anyway, Doug lucks out on the locker inspection because the bell rings and apparently whatever that bell was meant a whole lot more than finishing the locker inspection to get back the assistant principal’s fucking yodeling trophy. So he asks Judy what he should do.
Porkchop plays the hell out of that violin. Judy’s first suggestion is to go crying to Mr. Bone, begging for forgiveness. Then she suggests that he just tell the truth. This sets off another fantasy, of course…
Of course. Of course they’ll give you an award for this, Doug. And who is going to be most impressed by your fancy new award?
So he takes the trophy back to school, puts it in his locker, and tells Skeeter he’s going to give it back and tell the truth after class. Little does he know that Roger was hiding in the locker next to his. Roger sends an anonymous note to Mr. Bone telling him to check Doug’s locker. Meanwhile, Doug has this fantasy where telling the truth still gets him in trouble. In the fantasy, Mr. Bone has him tied up and he pulls out Doug’s permanent record. The permanent record is torn up and thrown in his face. At no point here does Doug explain when he went back to his locker to get the trophy. He just has it again. At Mr. Bone’s office he panics and has this brilliant idea.
It’s a trophy, Doug. Not a goldfish.
When that doesn’t work, he rushes back to Mr. Bone’s office (Mr. Bone is still out checking out Doug’s locker and being pissed when he doesn’t find shit) and just puts it in his office. See…
Wait, what’s that…?
Doug, you fucking moron. You left it in a bag with your name on it. Busted. He finally did what he should’ve done all along (if just throwing it away in any garbage can wasn’t an option) and he fucked up the simple task of leaving it where Mr. Bone will get it. What’s his punishment? Polishing all of Mr. Bone’s yodeling trophies, which he keeps at school because he doesn’t have anyone at home to see them. No wife. No friends. He’s a champion yodeler. What would you expect?
Roger comes in to Mr. Bone’s office while Mr. Bone is out getting more polish and accidentally turns on the intercom while telling Doug all about his brilliant plan to get him in trouble. The entire school hears the confession and Doug is no longer in trouble. Roger is.
Good job, Roger. Of course, Doug could’ve easily gotten out of trouble at any point in the episode. Just put the trophy anywhere in the school without putting it in something that said “Doug Funnie” on it. Roger accomplished that much before he told on himself. Oh well, it’s a happy ending for Doug, and absolutely nothing was learned. Oh, except Porkchop can play the violin.
And now it’s time for my favorite extra from this episode:
Look at this kid. He’s dressed like he’s on some team. Some team named “Yo.” He’s wearing his cleats to class. He’s really into whatever sport requires cleats and shorts and has teams with names like “Yo.”